Grow With Pastor Joe

All of life is about relationships. Ephesians has shown that we must understand our relationship with God in order to properly live not only in relation to Him, but to the world around us including both those who are in Christ and unsaved world. God established His relationship with Adam in the Garden, then establishes Adam’s relationship to the creation around him and then God establishes Adam’s relationship with his wife, Eve. (Gen. 1-2). Every horizontal relationship ultimately reflects our relationship vertically with God. God intended for us to enjoy a relationship with Him in faithfulness, obedience, and love. He also ordered our outward relationships with one another and gave the pattern of what they should look like. One of the first things in God’s order of business was the establishment of marriage. It is a lifelong union of which God Himself has ordered and ordained. Everything that God establishes, Satan seeks to offer a counterfeit, or the destruction, infestation, or manipulation of what God declares as good. Marriage has been attacked since Genesis 3. The Devil hates God and he hates what God loves. Satan not only attacked the marriage in the Garden of Eden, but also corrupted marriages in Gen. 4 and the corruption has been seen in pagan unbelieving cultures throughout the history of the world. Polyamory is a pagan practice to thwart the true union of husband and wife. Other pagan practices include the inversion of gender roles or the elimination of it all together. Satan seeks to destroy marriages because they are the bedrock of communities, cultures, and societies. As goes the heart, goes the home. As goes the home, goes the kids. As goes the kids, goes the culture. As goes the culture, goes the society. As goes society, goes the world.

God loves faithful marriages not only because He established the union of marriage, but because the union of marriage is to mirror Christ’s love for His people. Marriage in America has been under attack for a long time. In 1969, California established the “no fault divorce” beginning the nationwide trend of marrying and remarrying with the changing of the wind. Now there is always an escape route available and prepared for as couples join in marriage. The past five decades have continued to erode the roles of man and woman, in turn this corrupts the very basis of the marriage relationship. Radical feminization and the emasculization of our society have further corroded our marriages. Fewer are getting married and staying married. Our culture is spiraling because marriages are failing, and even worse they are failing because they aren’t rooted in the vertical relationship with God as they were designed to be. Sadly, both marriage and divorce have become ideas of convenience. As a culture, we have redefined marriage. In 2015, same-sex marriage was nationally legalized, celebrated, and promoted. Now, to not tolerate, celebrate, or promote this false marriage that is accepted by the majority of Americans results in being labeled misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, or who knows what else.

            As Paul continues to exhort the believer to walk in the infinite wealth that they have in Christ, he turns his attention to the relationship of marriage, but within this exhortation for husbands and wives there is also a call for every believer. Christians, whether married, unmarried, single, or widowed should care about biblical marriage because God does. Family and the relationships that make up the home have an impact on everyone. Furthermore, we should care about it because it is the pivotal relationship that God uses to show the believer their union and communion with Christ. Sadly, many people, including Christians have become disillusioned with marriage. Many of us have seen more marriages go south and few of them go well. A good marriage may be hard to come by but perhaps nothing is more Christ honoring than a couple who are Spirit filled individuals who seek to lovingly obey Christ in their marriage. Martin Luther, the German reformer said, “There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage.” The true test of living the Spirit filled life is seen in our relationships in our home and church. Each of these relationships reflect our relationship with Christ. Don’t say that you love Jesus but your relationship with your spouse is poor. Your relationship is poor with your spouse because your relationship with your Savior is poor. Don’t say you love Jesus but your relationship with His Church (His own Body and Bride) is non-existent or distant. Your relationship is poor with your local Church because your relationship with Christ is poor. People become disillusioned or unsatisfied in their spouse or church when they became disillusioned or unsatisfied with Christ. Paul just ended the last section with Eph. 5:21 which says, “²¹ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Mutual submission is necessary for the local church to grow in maturity and unity. In Eph. 5:22-33, Paul will expound this exhortation for our daily walk in Christ by using the marriage relationship to illustrate the spiritual union that Christ has with His Church. It is a relationship that is built on love, dependence, authority, and obedience.

            Eph. 5:22-33 says,

“²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;²⁶ That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,²⁷ That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.²⁸ So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.²⁹ For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:³⁰ For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.³² This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

            In this passage we will explore how to walk in our wealth in Christ by examining three different relationships. We will see Jesus and His Bride, you and your Bride (or husband), and you and Jesus’ Bride (The Church). This passage is not just for those who are married or wish to be married. These words are for each Christian to see God’s plan and the picture of Christ’s love for His Church and the responsibility that we have to walk accordingly to our wealth in Christ and as members of His Bride.

            First, let’s look at the relationship of Jesus and His Bride. As we have seen in Ephesians, every relationship demands responsibility from both parties. The wealth that we have in Christ is the fact that Jesus always holds up to His end for our eternal good and His eternal glory. Our walk in Christ is to be responsible in walking in faithful obedient love for Christ and in turn His Church. In this relationship between Christ and His Church, we need to examine both parties’ roles and responsibilities before we get more personal.

            One, Jesus’ role and responsibility as the Bridegroom to the Bride is that He leads and loves her. Just as Adam and Eve were united and became “one flesh” in the Garden of Eden, Jesus has united Himself eternally to His Bride. Notice Eph. 5:30 that says, “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.” You can’t separate Jesus and His Bride the same way that you can’t separate the husband and wife. The two have become one. There are no longer two, but one. I remember when we were married, at the beginning of the ceremony we were announced separately, but then at the end and the rest of the festivities we were only announced together. Those who are in Christ have been made one, or united to Him and His Church. Jesus leads His Bride because He is entrusted with the responsibility of “headship.” Headship is the role and responsibility to be a representative who has the authority to lead. God had given this role to Adam in the Garden over creation and over His home (including his wife and future children). Headship is seen not only throughout the Bible but throughout the world. To be the head of a household is to be the one with authority and the responsibility to lead. Just as Adam was the federal head of the human race, Jesus is the head of His Body and Bride (See 1 Cor. 15). Jesus alone has the role of leading the Church. She belongs to Him because of the union as His Bride and Body. Eph. 4:15-16 says, “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:¹⁶ From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.” And Col. 1:15-18 says, “¹⁵ Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature:¹⁶ For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:¹⁷ And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.” Jesus bought the Church with His blood, and He builds it by the work of the Holy Spirit through the holy scriptures (Eph. 2:19-22; 3:14-4:16). As Jesus leads His Bride, He does so by providing for her, protecting her, preserving her, and prioritizing her. Understand this, Jesus doesn’t lead His Bride for the sake of having something to do, but rather He leads her because He loves her. It is Jesus’ love for the Church that causes Him to constantly provide, protect, preserve, and prioritize His Bride. Ask any man if He feels the same way of His wife. I’m certain he’d say yes, or at least agree that it is his personal job to do those things. Leadership without love always misses the mark because it has the wrong motivation. Jesus’ leadership is His authority over His Church, but His love is His affection for her. He loves His Bride so much that He died the cruelest of deaths for her and has bound us together with Himself (See Eph. 2:4-10; 3:14-19). His love is seen in the already used word “agape”. This is no ordinary love, but it is an extraordinary supernatural Spirit filled kind of love. It is the love that God has for you and me. It is a love that is not motivated for selfish gain or pleasure. This love is solely focused on the good, joy, or benefit of another without any expectation (or even desire) of anything in return. This is the kind of love that we have already been commanded to walk in (Eph. 5:2). This is the kind of love that truly loves, simply loves, and yet profoundly loves. Jesus’ love for His Bride is a sacrificial love. The passage says that Jesus “gave himself for it.” Yes, Jesus gave Himself for her as He sacrificially laid down His life on the cross, but He continues to give Himself for her. Any husband who stops giving himself to his wife has missed the mark (visa versa). Jesus died and lives for His Bride. His love is also a sanctifying love. The passage says that Jesus “gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” We are positionally sanctified (holy, clean, pure, and spotless) and He continues to practically clean us by the word of God as the Holy Spirit works in and through us. Jesus’ love for His Bride is also a sincere love. He doesn’t have other lovers. He only has eyes for His Bride because He is in total eternal union with her. The passage says that He “nourisheth and cherisheth” the Church as a man would his own body. Jesus takes care of His Bride. He nourishes her and cherishes her as if she was his own body. He cares for her beauty and glory of His Bride as much as His own because they are inseparably linked. Every husband (and wife for that matter) would do well to care for their spouse as much as they do their own body.

            Two, we need to see that the Bride, or the Church has the role and responsibility of submitting to Christ who is in headship over His Church. We don’t get to tell Him what to do or decide on our own what we want to do. We answer to Him and Him alone. Unlike earthly husbands, Jesus only has the eternal good in store for His Bride, therefore, the Church should trust Him completely. As we rest in His affection for the Church then we can respond in obedience to His authority over us. We, the Church, His Bride, are to be led by Him, not our own ambitions, opinions, preferences, thoughts, or ideas. If we are to grow in maturity and unity it will be because we submit to His leadership over us. Just as stated above, the husband was given headship over the home and his spouse. Therefore, the wife is to be led and loved by her groom. Jesus is a perfect groom and the only perfect husband for His Church. He leads and loves His Church perfectly; therefore, the Church, His Bride, should respond in humble faithful obedient love that trusts Him to provide, protect, preserve, and prioritize His Bride. When we see that as Christians we are in Christ. Our wealth and walk are in Him. We are as united to Christ as we are His Church. Every believer makes up the Body and Bride of Christ. We can trust in His leading and rest in His love for us. However, it is the Church’s responsibility to submit to His Word, work, and will for our lives.

Grow with me as we study the believer’s wealth and walk in Christ.

Grow deeper.

Grow higher.

Grow wider.