Grow With Pastor Joe

Second, let’s look at the relationship between you and your bride. If you are a husband, then you have a bride that you are united to. If you are a wife, then you are a bride who is united to your groom. Once again, if you are single, unmarried, or widowed this is for you too. You could be still an example or encourager for those who are married and seeking to serve Christ in their marriage. As we’ve already addressed, marriage is to be a picture of Christ and His Church. Simply, each married couple every day until death do them part is to reflect the beauty of Christ and His Bride. Husband and wife are united together just as Christ is united to His Church. Just as a bride’s identity and name changes, so does the Christian. We have a new identity, new name, and new responsibility to live up to. What I’m about to address is what Paul deals with here, as well as all of the Bible. Men and women are equal in value, yet distinct in their responsibility and roles. Women are infinitely superior at being women. A man can never be a woman. Men are infinitely superior at being men. A woman can never be a man. Both man and woman, or as in this passage, husband and wife are complementary in their roles. Marriage will always work best when each spouse fulfills their role without trying to fulfill the role of the other. People say, “Marriage is 50-50.” Let me be clear…no, it is not. It must be 100-100 or else it will be doomed to fail. Are there times when one or the other may not be able to give it 100% due to sickness, ailment etc.? Sure. However, the norm should be both husband and wife faithfully fulfilling their role for the good of the other and the glory of Christ. Just as this passage does, we must now look at both roles and responsibilities of each spouse.

            One, the wife’s role is addressed in Eph. 5:22 which says, “²² In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:” This verse unfortunately makes both husbands puff up their chest and ladies ruffle their feathers. Submission is necessary in the Christian life. Submission to the call of the gospel brings about salvation. Submission to God’s work of grace sanctifies. Mutual submission has been commanded to all believers in Eph. 5:21. The wife’s submission to her husband does not mean inferiority but it shows the difference of responsibility. It is the husband’s role as Christ to lead and love. Both husband and wife have roles, but they are distinguished so that the marriage (and home) runs like a well-oiled Christ honoring machine. It is for the unity and order in the home as God had intended and established in the Garden of Eden. The wife is to submit to her “own husband”, not all men or other’s husbands. This shows the union of the husband and wife in this complementary relationship. The two are united together. Furthermore, wives are called to submit “as unto the Lord” because all things in our life are to be done in, through, and for Him. This doesn’t mean that the husband is lord, but that the wife fulfills her duty to glorify God by living as He designed her to do. Matthew Henry helps out by saying, “Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.” The wife was designed to be provided for, protected by, preserved by, and prioritized by her husband. What a magnificent role?! As the wife submits to her husband as unto the Lord, she serves in the home, strengthens her husband and home by fulfilling her duty, satisfies her husband with her tender care, and acts as a security for her husband who comes home to a faithful wife. The wife in many ways is the heart of the home and she is the home of the husband’s heart. We desperately need godly wives who are willing to fulfill their duties. Understanding the passage as a whole, a Spirit filled wife has no issue submitting to Christ or the husband who is entrusted by God to lead the home.

            Two, we need to see the husband’s role. Alright ladies, you are out of the hotseat. To be perfectly honest, as we see the text in light of the Bible, we see that the man who is given headship over the wife and home is given an incredibly heavy responsibility. Leadership is a great and terrible burden. The man was given the leadership role for the provision, protection, preservation, and prioritization of the wife. The husband is not just given the role of leading and loving, but the eternally more challenging role of leading and loving as Christ loved the Church. As we saw earlier, Christ’s love is eternal for His Bride. The husband’s leadership in the home hinges on his love for his wife. A man who doesn’t love his wife as he should is not fit to lead her, yet he has the responsibility to do both. If a man can’t be led by Christ, then he’ll never be able to lead and love his wife as Christ loved the Church. A husband’s love is to be sacrificial and selfless. He is responsible to provide, protect, preserve, prioritize his wife physically, emotionally, and spiritually. While the wife may make the house a home, it is the husband’s role to make it a fortress for all hearts that dwell in it. As the husband is to lead and love his wife as Christ loves the church, this means that he gives himself to and for her. Loving your wife is more than being willing to kill or die for her. It is being willing to kill your sin and die to self. It doesn’t matter if you’d take a bullet for her or send a bullet for her if you won’t put a bullet in the lust of your flesh, eyes, and pride of life. The husband can’t lead without love and as he leads, it is only by love. Some love the idea of leading, but if you don’t love being in love with your wife then you aren’t a good leader. You are a tyrant with a small heart and a tiny brain. The husband’s primary role is not to lead but to love. He leads his wife only as he loves her. If his love is waning towards Christ, then it will be likewise toward his wife. A Spirit filled husband has no problem loving his wife. You can tell a man isn’t filled by the Spirit when he doesn’t love his wife sacrificially and selflessly. Neither husband nor wife can fulfill their role without being submitted in love to Christ and being filled with the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit (Christ in us) that enables, encourages, and energizes us to fulfill the role that God has called us to. Martin Luther further said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” How sad it is that when spouses are home together, they seek to separate themselves and run to their “she sheds” or “man caves.” A Spirit filled wife isn’t a nag and a Spirit filled husband isn’t a jerk. How sad it is that the marriage has been sacrificed to satisfy the demands of children’s schedules while forgetting the marriage and honor of Christ. The marriage in the home is to reflect Christ and His Church. Make no mistake, your marriage right now is either Christ honoring or it reflects the materialistic mindset of our pagan culture. Don’t compromise your marriage. Don’t give the Devil an inch. Live in constant loving communion with your spouse that you are forever united to.

            Third, let’s look at you (the individual believer) and Jesus’ Bride. You are united to Christ and His Church equally. The moment you were saved you were placed into Christ who is the head of His Body and the groom of His Bride. You can’t be separated from Christ and shouldn’t be separated from His Church. Your walk will suffer when your relationship with the Church suffers, which is why Paul stressed this relationship in Eph. 4-5 so heavily. Your relationship to Jesus’ Bride begins with submission to Christ as the Head of the Body and Groom of the Bride. If you aren’t surrendered to His Holy Spirit and the scriptures, then you ain’t walking the walk. You as an individual Christian must be love Christ and grow in that love. You must be led by Him, but you won’t submit to His leading unless you love Him. When you grow more in love with Chris then you will grow in submission to His leading. To truly submit to Christ, you must serve His Church. We see this in Eph. 4:1-16 and 5:19-21. God has saved you for the service and sanctification of His Church. One way that we submit to Christ and serve His Church is by submitting to the order of authority that Christ has ordained in His Church. Hebrews 13:7-17 describes the life of the Church and the importance of Christ ordained leadership in the Church as Paul alluded to in Eph. 4:7-12. It is for the benefit, maturity, and unity of the Body and Bride of Christ that we love Jesus and His Church. It is for the benefit, maturity, and unity of the Body and Bride of Christ that we submit to Christ and serve the Church in faithful loving obedience. As we are individually Spirit filled and submit to one another as unto the Lord and His order and ordained leadership, Christ will be honored and His Church beautified. You should love the Church because Christ loves her. This passage expresses His deep and eternal love for the Church. We should love the things that Christ loves and hate the things that He hates. He loves His Church, do we? We must seek her purity, holiness, and beauty for our own good and His infinite glory.

            This passage shows us the wealth that we have in our belonging to Christ and as well shows us what that looks like in our behavior through our walk in Christ. Wives, be godly wives as unto the Lord. Husbands, be a godly husband. Love your wife. Dear Christian, love Christ and be led of Him. Love His Church and give yourself for her good, your own good, and Christ’s glory. If you are married, does your marriage (daily, not just the good days) reflect Christ’s love for His Church? What does your marriage say about your faith or obedience to Christ? If you are convicted (and you probably should be as I am) get things right with the Lord and your spouse. For those who aren’t married, for whatever reason that may be, won’t you pray for the couples in your life who are married? Pray for them sincerely. Encourage them. Give yourself to the local Church for the glory of God. We must be Spirit filled in our heart to have a Spirit filled home. God wants us to have our churches filled with the presence and power of Christ by being filled with His Spirit. Are you hindering it or helping it? We must take care of our hearts and home! We must take care of the Church.

Grow with me as we study the believer’s wealth and walk in Christ.

Grow deeper.

Grow higher. Grow wider.