Grow With Pastor Joe

            All of life is centered around relationships. There is the vertical relationship between God and man. There are horizontal relationships between mankind. Ultimately, everything in life comes down to whether you are right with God or not so that you can be right with your fellow man. The book of Ephesians shows us our relationship to Christ and His Church in the first three chapters. These last three chapters have been developing the responsibilities that come with being in relationship with Christ and His Church. Being in Christ is all encompassing. There isn’t one part of your life, if you are saved, in which Christ should not abound. Jesus is the life of the Christian. We have the wealth in our position of being in Christ and now we must practice our position through our daily walk. The most telltale sign that we are not walking worthy of our wealth in Christ is that our relationships in the home and work suffer. When you are out of whack with everyone around you are more than likely out of whack with the Lord. We don’t just need a relationship with Christ, but we need that relationship with Him for strength and stability for all other relationships. God has given us what we need to not only have a right walk with Him, but with those around us. Those in Christ have been given the Holy Spirit to strengthen, energize, enable, and fill to be who we are called to be and do what we are called to do. We are called to walk in our wealth in Christ and it is the Holy Spirit that enables us to do so. When we go at the Chrisitan life in our own strength, we will not only burn out, but we will burn others in the process. Being in Christ impacts and influences every relationship. We can’t compartmentalize our walk with the Lord. Walking according to our wealth in Christ will impact our homes, churches, and communities. If we are walking in our wealth in Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit then we will see Christlikeness, maturity, and unity in our homes, churches, and communities. So far, Eph. 4-6 has shown us that we need to have Spirit filled churches (Eph. 4-5), Spirit filled marriages and homes (Eph. 5-6), and Spirit filled work relationships (Eph. 6). That just about sums up all of life doesn’t it? All of these positional relationships have practical responsibilities. Last week, we looked at the positional relationships and practical responsibilities between spouses and Christians with the Church and Christ. Ultimately, for the believer, every relationship points upwardly to Christ. Everything that we are and do is in Him, through Him, and to Him.

            In order to understand this next passage that we’ll study today, we must see some historical background. First, let’s take a look at what Eph. 6:1-9 says.

It says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.² Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;³ That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.⁴ And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.⁵ Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;⁶ Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;⁷ With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:⁸ Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.⁹ And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.”

            Paul now dives outside of the marriage relationship to give instructions for children, parents, servants (slaves), and masters (bosses). Culturally, these relationships looked a lot different in Paul’s day versus our day. The Gospel was and is counterculture. It goes against the grain and traditions of society. It is the Gospel that places us in Christ and being in Christ while still living in the world impacts how we are to live. Christians treated their spouses, children, bosses, and servants different than the world around them. In the culture that the Christians at Ephesus were living in, wives had no rights and could be killed or divorced on a whim. Children had no rights and according to Roman law, the father could reject, kill, or sell their child under “Patria Potestas” which was the authority that all fathers had. Under this wicked law, men, husbands, and fathers did as they pleased. Many times, when a child was born the father would turn away from the child meaning it was to be disposed of like garbage. Some “merciful” fathers may not have their child killed but instead dropped off at the Roman forum to become slaves or prostitutes. Also, in the Roman ruled world in which these believers lived, slavery was the norm. The vast majority of people were either slaves or bondservants who had masters or owners. Masters (bosses) or slave owners were often cruel and viewed their servants as if they weren’t a human being at all. They didn’t have rights, worker’s comp, or unions to fight for them. This was their life and there was no escape from it. In the Grecko-Roman world, the idea of manual labor was viewed as unpleasant, lowly, and should not be for the wealthy or prosperous. Romans sought to get out of work by being wealthy enough to own a slave or bondservant to do their bidding. During this time, many Christians fell under the category of slaves or bondservants. Few Christians were owners or bosses. However, with that in mind, Paul is issuing commands for Christian children, parents, slaves, and masters to walk worthy of their wealth in Christ. Our identity is not so much what we do, but to whom we belong. Every Christian belongs to Christ and one another. Therefore, our relationships in our homes, jobs, churches, and communities must reflect to whom we belong and who we are in Christ. When there is disorder in your heart there is disorder in your home. When there is disorder in your home there will be disorder in your work, church, and community. The downfall of every society is the breakdown of relationships, first vertically, then horizontally.

            Today, we will see the relationships and responsibilities of Spirit filled children and parents; and also, those who are servants and masters. In every relationship we are to consider Christ and walk according to our wealth in Him. Everything is to be done through being emptied of self and being filled by the Holy Spirit so that we are a vessel for the glory of Christ. The way that we obey authority or use authority over another reflects our submission to Christ’s authority, mutual submission in the Church, and a moment-by-moment submission to the work of the Holy Spirit in and through us.

First, let’s look at the relationships and responsibilities of Spirit filled children and parents. Eph. 6:1-4 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.² Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;³ That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.⁴ And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The pyramid of relational importance is first between you and Christ. This relationship is eternal. Then, there is the relationship between husband and wife that eternally binds them throughout their life as the two become one flesh. Then, the next relationship is between parents and children. Parents who aren’t right with God or their spouse will have a devastating impact on their children and children who aren’t right with God and their parents will be devastated through their own disobedience. Spirit filled believers and relationships are God’s divine design for walking in our wealth in Christ. Paul is writing to those who are children and parents in a Christian home. Both children and parents are called to a higher standard than the world because both children and parents are to walk according to their wealth in Christ. Their relationships and responsibilities to one another are pointing to their relationship with Christ. Both parties have responsibilities to one another based upon their relationship with Christ.

Children are given two main responsibilities in their relationship to their parents. Eph. 6:1-3 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.² Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;³ That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Children are first commanded to obey their parents. Obedience to one’s parents is the outward action of response to the parental authority and as well the authority of God’s command. For children, God expects, commands, and enables them to obey their parents. Their obedience is to be “in the Lord” because Christian children should obey their parents because they belong to Christ and want to obey the Lord. Eph. 6:1 also gives perhaps the greatest reason that children are to obey their parents. It says, “for this is right.” When children obey their parents “in the Lord” then they are acting by faith in righteousness. They are walking according to their identity in Christ. This also means that disobedience would not be right. Back talking, disobedient, unruly children are not being controlled by the Spirit but by their own flesh. Disobedience to parental authority is to reject God’s order and authority placed over them. The Bible has a lot to say about children obeying their parents. Look up the following verses to see the wisdom of the Bible for children (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 23:22; 30:11,17; Col. 3:20). It is unwise and unbelieving for children to not obey their parents. Disobedient children are also described as characteristics of the “last days” (See Rom. 1:8-30; 2 Tim. 3:1-2). The word for “obey” here is not just one of listening to a command but also the readiness to execute the order or request. There’s a reason why a parent often has to tell a child a request or order multiple times. It is because at that moment the child is not willing to listen and is not ready to willingly obey. Faith and obedience go hand in hand. Wherever you find real faith in God you will real and readied obedience to Him. Children who are in Christ and in the home of their parents should be all the more willing to obey their parents. Obedience is God’s will for them because it reflects their submission to God’s divine order and authority.

God doesn’t just desire for children to be obedient but to also honor their parents. The command to obey is the action and the command to honor is the attitude and motivation for a child to submit to their parent’s authority over them. Honoring another person begins with an inward attitude but it must be expressed outwardly to truly honor another. The word “honor” means to esteem, hold in high regard, and value. Sadly, the reality is that disobedient children are not esteeming, regarding, or valuing their parents. Children naturally want to be independent, and it only gets worse as they become “know it all” teenagers. To honor one’s parents there must be obedience and to truly obey there must be an attitude of honoring one’s parents. God gives the command for children in Ex. 2:12 and again in Deut. 5:16. The children of Israel were given these commands, and the principles still apply today. Those in Christ are not under the Law, but under grace. Grace is a greater motivator to obey and honor one’s parents than the Law. Obeying and honoring parents is the child’s “first commandment with promise.” The idea is that this is their primary role and responsibility. It isn’t a child’s responsibility to protect the home, pay the bills, be a good spouse, or be the spiritual leader. A kid should be a kid. A child must be taught obedience and honor. Children are disciples of their environment and trainees (parents).

            Parents are given several responsibilities that are centered around the phrase, “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Being a parent is to be a disciple maker. A parent is either training and teaching their child to be like Christ or live for the world, the flesh, and the Devil. There is perhaps no greater responsibility than to be a parent or disciple maker for that matter. Training another how to know Christ and walk (live) in Him is a responsibility with an eternal weight behind it. Paul addresses fathers because the headship of the home rests upon him as established already in Eph. 5:22-33. However, the word that Paul uses is also used in Heb. 11:23 for both parents. The role of training and teaching children through devotion and discipline falls on both parents, but the final responsibility rests on Dad’s shoulders. Children don’t need a mom and dad to merely “co-parent” as so many separated or divorced parents claim they do. They need Spirit filled moms and dads who give themselves to one another and submit to the Lord’s order for the home. It takes two to make one and it takes two to raise one. The first responsibility of fathers, and moms alike, is to not “provoke your children to wrath.” Wrathful parents instill wrathful children. When parents are easily provoked then children will be easily provoked. If you can’t control your emotions, then don’t expect your child to. Children are often provoked to wrath through a parent’s being over controlling, overbearing behavior, or over expecting of their children. Often, what the child sees is what they will become. Proverbs 22:16 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This is a biblical principle to show the responsibility of the parents and the likelihood that a child will become what they are taught to become. Parents, if you want your child to be obedient and honor you, then be obedient and honor Christ. Parents, whether they want to own it or not, are examples, educators, encouragers, and exhorters. Everything that they are and do serves as an example while educating the child about how they should react and respond to the world around them. Parents must be able to educate, encourage, and exhort their children. Everything in life is not just a life lesson, but a Gospel lesson. Parenting is consistently molding a young child to trust Christ, walk in Christ, be filled by the Spirit, and yield to God’s Word. Children must be molded mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. They are either being taught these four phases of life with Christ being the center or self being the center. We see these four aspects of a child’s growth and development in the life of Christ. When Jesus was twelve years old, He is seen teaching in the Temple being found and then questioned by Mary and Joseph. Luke 2:49-52 says “⁴⁹ And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?⁵⁰ And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.⁵¹ And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.⁵² And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.” Wisdom is the mental growth of Christ as He learns as a man. Stature is in reference to His physical growth and development. Favor with God is spiritual as Jesus lived all of His life being sent by His Father and serving the will of His Father. Favor with man is the social growth that Jesus experiences with the horizontal relationships in His life. Children are simple, yet complex creatures that must be consistently trained. Everything that parents are and do train their children. Parents must be consistent. They must communicate clearly and always pointing to the authority of Christ through the scriptures and by the power of the Holy Spirit. There must be consistent and appropriate discipline. Parents must be led by Christ to lead them to Christ. Jesus cares for children as seen in Matthew 18:1-7; 19:13-15. Parents, don’t be a stumbling block to your children. Don’t stunt their spiritual growth through your own spiritual disobedience or disgruntlement.

Second, let’s look at the relationships and responsibilities of Spirit filled servants and masters. Eph. 6:5-9 says, “⁵ Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;⁶ Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;⁷ With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:⁸ Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.⁹ And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.” While there is much that could be said about the responsibilities of employers and employees, I want to sum up the requirements for both. Spirit filled servants and masters will work hard, humbly, and honestly unto the Lord. Whether you are an employer or employee, your work is to be done in, by, and to Christ. Servants are first addressed because they made up the majority of the audience that Paul was writing to, and it also served as a reminder that every believer is a bondservant to Christ. No one is without a master. Everyone is under someone or something’s control (Rom. 6:15-23). The servants that Paul is addressing are commanded to obey, serve, and work under submission to Christ and their master who is over their daily work. God ordained work. Work is a good thing but bad employees or servants abuse work. Work is a good thing, but bad employers or masters abuse work. Sinners always make what God designed as good to be something that it is not. Servants are specifically called to not just be good workers sometimes but all the time. They are to be Spirit filled servants who work hard, humbly, and honestly as unto the Lord not just when it is convenient, easy, or when the boss is around. All that we are and do is to be “from the heart with good will doing service, as to the Lord.” Spirit filled servants are the best of servants because they are submitted to God and those that God entrusted with authority over them. Spirit filled servants are the best of workers because all that they do is done with a faithful attitude that seeks to please God by submitting to the authority over them. Those in Christ should have the best work ethic. The responsibilities of masters or bosses are similar in that they are to work hard, humbly, and honestly. If you are a boss, owner, or master, then you are to be involved in the work. Do it humbly and honestly by paying the wage that is owned. Don’t seek just your own gain but also the good of the employees. Don’t treat them unfairly or with belittling threats. Masters are to remember that they too are under authority, God’s authority who is the Master in Heaven. Everyone will and must answer to Him. Children, parents, servants, and masters must remember that we all must answer to the Lord. We will give an account of ourselves and how we stewarded God’s Word and work in our life. This is why we must be filled with the Holy Spirit.

            Relationships matter. Who you are and what you do matters. Who you are and what you do are in Christ. Our wealth and walk are in Him. Because we belong to Christ our behavior must match or else we will be in direct disobedience to His will for our life. God has given His divine order for every believer to be filled with the Spirit to submit to God’s divine order in the home, family, church, and society. Children, are you obeying and honoring your parents? Parents, are you obeying and honoring Christ? What are you teaching and training your children to be and do? Servants, how is your work ethic? Are you an honest, humble, hard worker to the glory of God? Masters, are you misrepresenting God’s authority or abusing your own? All of life, our walk is in Christ and is to be led by His Spirit. We can’t walk according to our wealth in Christ in our own strength. It is only by the filling of the Holy Spirit that children can be obedient and honor their parents. It is only by the filling of the Holy Spirit that parents won’t provoke their children but will disciple them to know and walk in Christ. It is only by the filling of the Holy Spirit that servants can do so gladly even under the harshest of circumstances. It is only by the filling of the Holy Spirit that masters won’t be greedy, abusive, or unjust bosses. Whoever and whatever you are, if you are in Christ then that is who you are and determines what you are to do. Live in Christ. Live by Christ. Live for Christ. Walk in your wealth in Christ in all parts of your life for your own good and His glory.

Grow with me as we study the believer’s wealth and walk in Christ.

Grow deeper.

Grow higher.

Grow wider.