Grow With Pastor Joe

I was an only child. I’ve always been friendly, but I’ve only had a few close friends. I was always fine with doing my own thing. It isn’t that I don’t like people at all. Many growing up would have called me their friend simply because I was friendly to everyone, but I wouldn’t have said the same thing about them. As I have gotten older, I’m still friendly, but I have found that faithful friends are hard to come by. All of us have friendships or family, whether or not you claim either is up to you. However, if we are honest, not all friends share the same closeness. Some are workplace friends. Some share the same hobbies. Others perhaps are closer than some of your blood family members. Nevertheless, relationships are critical to human existence and experience. We are relational beings. You were born into and for relationships. There are two kinds of relationships. There is what I call the vertical relationship which is one’s relationship or lack thereof with the Lord. This foundational relationship will cause the second to either be healthy or not. The second type of relationship is what I call the horizontal which deals with others around us. Simply, if you aren’t good friends vertically, then you are going to miss out on having faithful friendships horizontally.

            The Bible speaks a lot about friendships and fellowship with others. We see throughout scripture countless examples where believers are warned not to be friends with the world (James 4:4). We see other times where believers should have friends of likeminded faith (2 Cor. 6:14). Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Then Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” To truly live a life of faith we must do so with faithful friends. We need faithful friends, and we should be faithful friends. J. Vernon McGee writes, “There is a brotherhood within the body of believers, and the Lord Jesus Christ is the common denominator. Friendship and fellowship are the legal tender among believers.” The moment that you trusted Christ; you were adopted into a family and gained new friends in Christ. Saving faith placed you into a saved family and gave you saved friends. The Christian faith itself is not merely individualistic as many have made it to be. Yes, you as an individual must be born again; however, you are saved into a body of believers, the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul has dealt with this issue throughout Romans, but especially in Rom. 12-16 which has been our ongoing study. We have seen that the Church is a body of believers with diverse gifts, but a united goal of the gospel, grace, and glory of Jesus Christ binds us together. It is the transformational truths that ties us together with and in Christ. Today’s study is going to be found in Rom. 16:1-16 which says, “¹I commend unto you Phebe our sister, which is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea: ² That ye receive her in the Lord, as becometh saints, and that ye assist her in whatsoever business she hath need of you: for she hath been a succourer of many, and of myself also. ³ Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus: ⁴ Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. ⁵ Likewise greet the church that is in their house. Salute my well-beloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia unto Christ. ⁶ Greet Mary, who bestowed much labour on us. ⁷ Salute Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen, and my fellow-prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me. ⁸ Greet Amplias my beloved in the Lord. ⁹ Salute Urbane, our helper in Christ, and Stachys my beloved. ¹⁰ Salute Apelles approved in Christ. Salute them which are of Aristobulus’ household. ¹¹ Salute Herodion my kinsman. Greet them that be of the household of Narcissus, which are in the Lord. ¹² Salute Tryphena and Tryphosa, who labour in the Lord. Salute the beloved Persis, which laboured much in the Lord. ¹³ Salute Rufus chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine. ¹⁴ Salute Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermas, Patrobas, Hermes, and the brethren which are with them. ¹⁵ Salute Philologus, and Julia, Nereus, and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints which are with them. ¹⁶ Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.” You may read this and wonder what this has to do with your practical life of faith. Well, it has everything to do with it because we need faithful friends like Paul had and we should be faithful friends to those of likeminded faith in Christ in our local church so that we may see the gospel transform our homes and communities. You are not a better Christian by yourself. We are better together as we live by faith to be faithful friends to the glory of Christ. As Paul is closing out his letter, he gets deeply personal with these believers and reveals his pastoral heart. The people in this passage are real people with real faith and with real relationships to Paul, the Church, and Christ. Some in this section Paul says more about which may make them more “noteworthy;” but we must see that all are loved by Paul and the Lord. All of them are faithful and all of them exemplify what it means to be a faithful friend. J.B. Phillips writes, “There they are, people dear to the heart of Paul, carrying the gospel banner high in the world’s capital and one by one summoned into the spotlight to be tenderly, lovingly mentioned and greeted by Paul.” Today we will see in this section of Paul’s commendation and greeting the need to always have loving friendships and to be learning faithfulness from these believers.

            First, let’s look at the loving friendships that Paul has with each of the above-mentioned believers. Throughout our study, the gospel, grace, and glory of Jesus Christ have been the focus. With this as the backdrop to a passage like this, we can see that it is the gospel and grace of Jesus that gives us faithful friendships with fellow believers. These faithful friendships that we should have with those we are united together with in Christ are to be to the glory of Jesus Christ for what He has done in our lives. In this long list of friends, we see men, women, families, Gentile believers, and Jewish believers. These faithful friendships are proof of what the power of the gospel can do. Each believer is connected in eternal union with all believers in Christ. The connection that we have with one another is what we call our union with Christ and His Church. This is our eternal position and standing before God with one another. This incredible gospel fueled grace filled glory focused connection comes with a natural affection for Christ and His Church which is what we would call our communion. Our communion with Christ and His Church is our practical daily living by faith with one another in the Body of Christ as we have seen in this study of Romans 12-16. Before we look at each one of Paul’s friends to see the loving things that he has to say about them, we must remember that if we are lacking in affection for other believers then there is a connection problem. Yes, you may know theologically that they are as saved as you are, but if you are living without connection with Christ and His Church then your affection for both is going to suffer. The less connection that you have with your local church the less affection you will have for Christ and His Church. The more connected you are to Christ the more connected you will be to His Bride and Body. The more connected you are to Him and His Church the more affection you will have for both. You don’t need less connection or fewer faithful friends. You and I actually need to be more committed to faithful friendships in these dark days that we are living in. We can shine brighter together and be stronger when we are yoked together with other believers. To see these loving friendships, we will go down the list to see Paul’s love for each one and will make brief notes about what Paul mentions in the text. Please note that there is more unknown about these individuals than there is that we do know.

One, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Phebe in Rom. 16:1-2. She is only mentioned this one time in the scriptures, but it appears that there was a loving and trusting relationship. It seems as though that Paul was commending her for her upcoming travels to the church in Rome, perhaps with this very letter he is writing. The commendation was being written for the church to make accommodation for her. During those days, Christians were often excluded from staying at inns and most inns during that day were nothing more than glorified brothels. When believers traveled, they often had letters of commendation which acted as proof that they were saved and would secure them a place to stay with other fellow believers. Her name means “bright or radiant.” Her name matches her testimony as seen here. The light of her testimony still radiates on the pages of scripture for us to see what God’s grace did in her life. There are three things that we see in these two verses about Phebe. She was saved (“sister” – familial bond of all believers), she was a servant and a succorer of many including Paul. The word “servant” here is the word “diakonos” which is where we get the word deacon. Now, many would use this to say that Phebe served in an official office of the church; there are only two church offices which are Pastor (elder/bishop) and Deacon (servant). The word that is used for “servant” here is a general word that is used for humble service from waiting tables to running errands. Paul makes it clear in 1 Tim. 3 the qualifications of both offices. It is clear that both are roles for qualified men only. Therefore, Phebe is a busy bee in the church being willing to do humble service often unnoticed; but here, Paul notices and God always does as well. The statement that she was a succorer means that she was a financial supporter. She gave to missions and the mission of the gospel, grace, and glory of Jesus Christ. What a wonderful testimony!

Two, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Priscilla and Aquila who we first met as companions of Paul and fellow tentmakers by trade in Acts 18. God used their testimonies and teaching to help grow the church. Paul recognizes their testimony and ministry as they served alongside him in the gospel ministry. We see their love for one another in that they lovingly sacrificed and were willing to lay “down their own necks” for Paul. John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” That’s a true loving friendship!

Three, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Epaenetus who was “the firstfruits of Achaia unto Christ.” He was special to Paul as we see that he is called “wellbeloved” because he was the first convert in the region that would spring into thriving churches. We never know what sharing the gospel with a soul could do.

Four, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Mary, but which one? There are a lot of Marys in the New Testament, but what we know of this particular individual is that she “bestowed much labour” upon Paul and his mission. The idea is that she toiled greatly with eagerness and exertion in the work of the mission of the gospel. It is not works that saves us, but we are saved for good works and to labor for the Lord (Eph. 2:8-10; Rom.12:11-13).

Five, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Andronicus and Junia who are Paul’s “kinsman” (either literal family but certainly from Jewish background) and they are “fellowprisoners.” Furthermore, these two had been faithful for a long time because they had been in Christ before Paul was converted. Their testimonies were known to the apostles because of the consistent faithfulness including facing imprisonment for their faith.

Six, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Amplias who is simply noted as being “beloved in the Lord.” This term of endearment shows Paul’s genuine love and relationship with him.

Seven, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Urbane who is called a “helper in Christ.” We are either helping the cause of Christ or we are hinderances. Urbane was a faithful helper in the work of the gospel ministry.

Eight, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Stachys who is noted as Paul’s “beloved” friend in Christ.

Nine, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Apelles who had their faith tested and came out stronger. The word “approved” is the idea of being accepted and trusted. It was used as a banking term for those who used real minted coins and were not fraudulent in their work. His testimony is trusted like a true coin in Paul’s hand. He’s the real deal.

Ten, we see Paul’s loving friendship with the household of Aristobulus. Nothing else is noted of them, but clearly, they are believers and it would be safe to say that they had come sort of close connection with Paul.

Eleven, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Herodion, one of Paul’s kinsman either through background or bloodline.

Twelve, we see Paul’s loving friendship with the household of Narcissus. It appears that these may be referencing not only family, but Christians who were slaves in these households. It is a reminder that the Church included Jew, Gentile, rich, poor, male, and female.

Thirteen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Tryphena and Tryphosa who were laborers in the church. It is said that they were sisters, perhaps twins.

Fourteen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Persis who “laboured much in the Lord.” Here is another believer who is living “of Him, through Him, and to Him” (Rom. 11:36).

Fifteen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Rufus who was “chosen in the Lord.” This is not to reference his salvation, but rather to say that he is “choice” as others could see and learn from his faithfulness. Rufus was a model believer and example of faithfulness for many. All of us should strive to be good representations of the gospel, grace, and glory of Christ.

Sixteen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermas, Patrobas, Hermes, and other unnamed brethren. Nothing else is mentioned of them except that they are believers in the church.

Seventeen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with Philologus, Julia, Nereus, Nereus’ sister, Olympas, and the other saints with them. This group of believers more than likely made up a small congregation in the church of Rome.

Eighteen, we see Paul’s loving friendship with all of the churches that make up the Church; the Body and Bride of Christ that is united together in Him. He speaks on behalf of other churches and reiterates the connection that they are to have with one another by commanding them to greet each other affectionately when they meet. Christians should be glad to see other Christians and should gladly and graciously greet others who have been saved by the gospel of Christ.

            Second, let’s see these testimonies of Paul’s faithful friends so we may be consistently learning faithfulness. Faithfulness is not a one-time deal. Faithfulness is over the long haul. Extraordinary faith is faithful in the ordinary and mundane things of life. Missionary Hudson Taylor said, “A little thing is a little thing, but faithfulness in the little things is a great thing.” God is not looking for you to have extraordinary ability, but to have availability in your life as you surrender to His word, work, and will. Learning faithfulness is seen not just in these testimonies, but in seeing these testimonies in light of the practical living section of Romans. There are a few things that we can take away from their lives as we put all of Rom. 12-16 together in practice. One, be a consecrated Christian who is wholly surrendered to the word, work, and will of God (Rom. 12:1-2). Two, be a connected Christian as a faithful member of the Body of Christ (Rom. 12:3-5). Three, be a contributing Christian who uses your spiritual gifts for the good and growth of others (Rom. 12:6-8). Four, be a consistent Christian in your everyday life by being faithful in the little things and a faithful friend who is gospel fueled grace filled and glory focused (Rom. 12:9-21). Five, be a considerate Christian as you consider connection to the world around you and the relationships that you have with God, the government, and your fellow believers (Rom. 13-15). Be who you are where you are for the gospel, grace, and glory of Jesus Christ.             As we bring this to a close, we must examine our own hearts and lives to see if we are putting it all together in our lives. Are we consecrated? Connected? Contributing? Consistent? Considerate? Do you see the corporate nature of your faith? You are saved to be a faithful friend and family member of the household of God in Christ by the power and work of the Holy Spirit in your life. God wants us to be faithful friends to one another. Is there anything in your life keeping that from being a reality? May we see our need for faithful friends and see the responsibility to be a faithful friend to others. Paul was grateful for these humble, faithful believers who encouraged and enabled his gospel work. Be the faithful friend that helps others live “of Him, through Him, and to Him.”